Everyone loves some one who makes them laugh. The more you share your sense of humour, the more friends you have. Laughter adds spice to life.
Laughter is the best medicine. So start laughing as much as you can. Smile is a curve which makes everything straight in your life.
I have posted daily jokes here. Read these jokes and keep smiling always. Please go to COMMENTS and post few more jokes.
Joke Lists :
Complan girl and Santoor girl :
A cat met an Elephant on its way.
Cat : How old are you ?
Elephant : I am just 5 years
Cat : But you look so big. How come ?
Elephant : I am a Complan girl.
Cat : You know I am just 30 years.
Elephant : How come you are so small ?
Cat : I am a Santoor girl
Love Story of a Prince :
Once there was a prince who was cursed by a witch. The curse was that he could utter only one world per year. One day he saw a beautiful girl. He wanted to say " Hi Dear ". However he could utter only one word per year so he waited for 2 years.
After 2 years he fell in love with her and wanted to say " Hi Dear! I Love you " . So he waited for 3 more years. After 5 years he thought it was high time that he should marry her. So he wanted to say " Hi Dear ! I Love you. Will you marry me ? So he waited for 4 more years.
After 9 long years he took her to a beautiful rose garden, took her hand in his and gently said " Hi Dear ! I love you. Will you marry me ? That girl brushing her hair sweetly replied " I beg you pardon ? :)
( The girl did not understand what he said and asked him to repeat. Our poor prince....have to wait for 9 more years ........)
Santa & Banta Jokes :
Letter to Bill Gates :
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Santa. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto 2000kms! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?
How far is the land ?
A huge ship was sinking. An Emglish man asked Santa " How far is the land ?"
Santa : 2 kms
English man jumped into the ocean and asked " Which direction ?"
Santa : Downwards !!!
Evening Walk :
Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
Correspondence Course :
Santa was driving car zigzag on the road. Traffic inspector stopped him.
Santa: Sir, I am learning the car.
Inspector: without instructor?
Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course.
Movie Tickets :
Santa is repeatedly buying movie tickets.
On being asked, santa replied: A man standing at the entry, tears my ticket everytime.
Joke :
The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink.
At a Nightclub :
A Sardarji was in a nightclub in New York, dancing with a beautiful woman.
He whispered into her ear, "I love you."
She smiled and whispered back,"I love you too". then he whispered, "I love you three."
The Race
Santa sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to what are the guys doing The bystander : A Marathon race is going on.
Sardar : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
Santa and Banta boasting of their parents achievements
Santa : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'
Banta : 'Yes, I have'
Santa : 'Well, my father dug it.'
Banta : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?'
Santa : 'Yes, I have.'
Banta : 'Well, my father killed it.'
Engagement ring
Santa 's lover asked him "Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring? "
Sure replied Santa What's your phone number?
Santa with two red ears went to his doctor.
Santa went to a doctor with his two ears red.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
Funny Joke :
Santa saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her.
GIRL: "stupid,what are you doin...?"
Santa: " B.Com Final Year....
Door Bell :
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa does not turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.
Crocodile Boots :
Santa proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *AGAIN* barefeet!"
Joke a Day :
Santa to a friend: Mother Nature is great! A million years ago she didn’t know we were going to wear spectacles yet look at the way she placed our ears.
Air India
Santa calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
”Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says Santa and hangs up.
Salary Expected :
Santa is filling up a job application. He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE,ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes.
Thermos Flask :
Santa goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Santa asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
Santa says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into his office with his new Thermos. His Boss sees him and asks,
"What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The Boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
Santa replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
Daily Joke :
What does Santa do after taking photocopies? He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
What does Santasingh do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
How to lose weight :
The doctor told Santa that if he ran eight kms a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kgs. At the end of 300 days, Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
Joke quotes :
Santa: In my dreams rats play football every night.
Doctor: Take this tablet you will be ok.
Santa: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
Power cut :
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
Lost Key :
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
Cartoon Joke :
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .
Interview :
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.
Hilarious Joke :
Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
Finally, santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.
Kids Joke :
What is the Fruitiest Lesson ?
History, because it is full of dates.
Friends of Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband the very next morning, that she stayed at her friend's apartment overnight.
So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirm that she was with them.
Friends of Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night.
So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 are claiming that he is still with them!!
Color TV :
Santa goes to purchase a color TV.
Santa : Do you have color TVs?
Salesman : Sure.
Santa: Give me a green one, please.
Phone Book :
Santa: "I' want to call you. What is your number?"
Woman: "It is in the phone book."
Santa: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That is in the phone book too."
Woman: "It is in the phone book."
Santa: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That is in the phone book too."
